I hadn't posted on Reddit before, but I wrote this brief "Seinfeld in the time of COVID" scene as text message and people told me to "post it"... but I don't really know how one does that. So I figured I'd try this out here and a few other subreddits. Tell me what you think.
Jerry enters Monk's and sits at the the booth occupied by Kramer, Elaine, and George
Jerry: She didn’t wash her hands.
George: She didn’t wash her hands?
Jerry: Didn’t. Wash. Her hands.
Elaine: She just didn’t wash them?
Jerry: Oh no. She did the soak and splash.
Kramer: What’s the soak and splash?!
Jerry: She filled the sink with tepid water, dunked her hands, and flopped them around.
Elaine: That’s not a wash.
George: That’s a swish... at best.
Kramer:(half choking on his food) She’s a sluicer!
Jerry: She is a serious sluicer!
Elaine: You mean there was no friction?
Jerry: NO FRICTION!
George: You gotta have the friction.
Kramer: LIVE... for the friction!
Jerry: Well, this has got to end.
George: You mean you're gonna break up with her?
Jerry: Well I can’t stay in a relationship with a frictionless fan of the soak and splash.
Kramer: Not to mention that she’s a sluicer!
Elaine: A serial sluicer.
Jerry: That's it! Where’s my mask? I’m saying sayonara to the sluicer!
Kramer: Giddy up!
Submitted June 20, 2020 at 01:41AM by cranberrywaltz https://ift.tt/3hJdLjN
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